Ain't it the truth, eh?
ha.
So I'm less depressed. Kinda cool. I'm not sure if it's the pot or the life. But whatever it is, it's working. :)
I've been hanging out with Blake lately.
He's 17.
I'm 21.
I'm sorry.
He really makes me feel giddy though. Like I'm 16 again and my heart was never broken. I just wanna be near him all the time. Hear him. See his face.
But I'm gonna keep that a secret for now. ;)
It feels good to actually have a halfway decent relationship with a guy.
I went to talk to Eric.
Jinger contacted me again. Stupid bitch.
She dogged him pretty hardcore.
Saying he was bad in bed and she was too pretty for him and he was ugly and had an old man gut really bad...blah blah blah.
She said that he basically said I was a whore that he was using for money.
So I went to his house and asked him about it.
I wasn't even gonna bring it up because of course he's gonna focus on the gossipy girl part where I look bad for even responding to Jinger about anything at all. Of course I looked catty. Of course I looked immature. But I HAD to know if he said that stuff.
He said no.
But who would say yes?
He just said no to sleep with me.
And I wasn't going to sleep with him.
I even didn't shave my legs so that I wouldn't be tempted.
But I did it anyway.
And now I feel stupid.
He's just using me.
And I'm not even sure that I like him that much.
Not as much as Blake anyway.
I think I'm finally over the Eric bridge.
Woohoo.
I gotta go to a wedding later this week. Hopefully, it's fun.
Buuuuuuutttttttt.................igottago...
Take care, ya'll :) Thanks for reading!!!
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What you do in your life might change what someone else does in their life. I just now literally heard that at the end of "Inertia" by Angels & Airwaves. I think that if you like this Blake guy you should do it. If I were Blake and found out that you went back to this Eric guy I'd might not want to take this any further. If he's using you you gotta end the cycle. Find motivation; for Blake, but more importantly for you. As Buddha once said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
ReplyDeleteSome boys may not know how to love, and I don't mean this in a negative way or to put you down, but I know you know how to love yourself, you just gotta show yourself some of that love every once in a while.
ps: Love is just a number. On the bright side, it'll only be a year maximum until he's legal.
Blake and I are just friends for right now. I'm not even sure he's into me just yet, so the Eric thing probably wouldn't matter much.
ReplyDeleteHowever, thank you for your input. I like third party opinions when my mind is racing with contradicting thoughts. I know I gotta learn to love and respect myself better. And maybe after I do that, I'll finally have that great relationship I'm looking for. ;P ha