It's All Okay, Cuz Love Will Find A Way To Be

Well.
Damn.
I'm shitty at keeping up with this thing, eh?

Oh well.

Eric ended up talking to me. He wanted me to have an abortion.
First of all,  how can you ask me to do that to MY body?
Not only would I have to deal with the physical pain, but I'd have the emotional and mental angst of knowing that I gave a part of me up because of "inconvience".
I hate believing that people are better than they are.
He would live the rest of his life not caring about what happened to me and to the baby, but I'd have to think about it everyday.

It disappoints me to know that he won't step up.
And instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he blames me.

It's never him, it's always everyone else.

He didn't have a job because of the economy.
NOT because he sat in his room all day texting random hoes, watching DvDs and getting high all the time.

He's not a famous musician because of the fucked music industry.
NOT because he needs vocal lessons because he's too pitchy to be professional.

When girls start arguing with him, it's "those girls" and "their drama".
NOT because he was juggling them around, they found out about each other, thought they were special and now realize that they were just used.

When he doesn't get to see Zoey, it's Jessica's fault.
NOT because he won't get a job to support her and get a new car to see her.

And it's Jessica's fault they had a child because she got pregnant "on purpose".
NOT because it was an accident. Because everyone knows that she used her OWN penis, right?

It's all bullshit to help him sleep better at night.
It's in his narcissistic nature to blame everyone so that he isn't the one feeling guilty.

He thinks I got pregnant on purpose too.
Go figure.

It'll probably be my fault forever.
Whatever.

He can go ahead and tell himself whatever he needs to help him, because in 18 years from now, I'll have a child that can thank me for unconditional love and support. And he'll have nothing but regrets because he wasn't man enough to step up and take responsibility.

That's on him. I hope he can deal with it.

He'll have a phone full of numbers he can't call anymore. A bunch of girls he could've been happy with, but used instead. A list of girls he's fucked but an empty heart. A bowl full of weed, but a life full of sadness and regrets.

I'll have love. Understanding. Happiness. :)

Later.
Oh, and God Bless.
Court