Run Your Mouth, I Bet I Can Catch It

New sheets.
Hair up.
Pants off.
Make-up off.
Freedom at it's best.

Lately, I've come to see the beauty within myself. I put on a new dress and I think, "wow". Someone comments on my beauty and I don't shrug it off. Instead, I embrace it. Why? Because I feel it.

And it's odd for someone like me, who's struggled most of her childhood/adult life wondering about their body image, to really fully appreciate my looks.

I enjoy my curves.
And although, I would like to be 30 lbs smaller; I know that I'm pregnant and it's just gonna be gaining from this point.
However, I'm confident now that I'll be able to lose the weight afterwards.

Even though I'm pregnant, I've been able to maintain my current weight loss without adding or subtracting any poundage.

But regardless of my "weight", I'm beginning to see the features of my face that are artistic in their own right.

And it makes me feel good to smile.
And I'm sure I look more confident to others.

On another note...that isn't so narcissitic....

Last night, Jocelyn, Adam, Trevor, some Austin kid and Katelyn went over to the "other Courtney's" place to have a "party".
Before we even got there, we knew Courtney Rogers was gonna puke. It is, afterall, in her reputation.
And after a quick game of Circle of Death and a longer, more alcohol-involved game of Connections, well....."there she blows!".

I held her hair back and guarded her door from Trevor so that he wouldn't try to fuck her because he was really drunk too. And also because I was partly jealous because for weeks, I've been going to parties thinking about making out with said Trevor.
He's pretty cute.
And here we go again.
Just when I think I'm good with myself, I get a crush.
Everytime.
Without fail.

This guy is pretty cute though. And whenever he sees me, he smirks. I don't know if he's a man-whore and would do anything, but who knows?
I overheard him tell Austin he wouldn't try to fuck Rogers but if he was going to try to get with anyone, it'd be me. And whenever asked about making-out, he said, "We're not thinking about that right now". Right now. Ha.

However, we departed early and I didn't make a move because he was waaaay too fucked up and drooling as drunk guys do.
He was all, "I don't need a girlfriend anyways. Do I, Courtney?? *hits my knee*" and when I was climbing out of the truck to leave he was all, "I love you, Courtney". Haha.
He came up to work today.
Why?
I dunno.
But whenever he saw me, he smirked and then later made it a point to ask me about whether I enjoyed myself last night.
Oh, and he has my number now.

So.
Who knows?

Baby comes first.
But if I can get some action in the process, then woohoo for me.

And then for a final point, Blake actually talks to me now and texts me.
So I guess he built a bridge and got over himself.
Which is good.
Because I missed him.

His girlfriend can fuck the hell off though.
She's mean as fuck.
"Don't tell me a secret. If I don't like someone, I tell everyone all their secrets. I once had a gossip buddy and she didn't like this girl that was in one of my other classes. So I'd sit next to that other girl and listen to her talk and find out stuff about her, and then I'd go to my friend and tell her everything she said and we'd laugh. We both didn't like her."
That's what she said.

Bitch, huh?

And at work, I'm just done working hosting shifts with her. She doesn't know how to sit people, first of all. This week I found out, that when I don't help her with the seating chart, she double/triple seats waiters. Which is horrible. And we had three hosts this week. One was supposed to sit tables, one was to just clean tables and the other was supposed to help do both. Well Crystal was sitting tables and I told her that when Shania go there (20 minutes late too, by the way) that she would make-up some bullshit excuse as to why she couldn't clean tables.
This week's excuse?
A blister on her foot.
Are you kidding me???!!!
I'm fucking pregnant, and throwing up at work a lot and I still clean tables.
Stupid.
But, not only did she not seat people correctly or bus tables, she didn't do anything else. She stood up there reading lost and found children's books left by customers with her boyfriend, Blake or texting on her phone. To who, I'm not sure, because she doesn't have any friends.
Then she had the audacity to get mad whenever Crystal and I got to go home first.
Lazy ass worker.
And she'll get away with it because the manager is her older sister.
And Blake will get away with whatever too because he's fucking the manager's sister.
It's a lame-ass story, I tell you.
And I'm about fed up with it.

But anyways.
I think I'm done ranting for this week.

It's a lot.
But I had to make up for all the lost weeks and lacking blogs that I've posted lately.

You're welcome.

Court

Do You Not Think Too Far Ahead?

Just checkin in.
There's a lot on my mind.
Not quite sure to get it all out though.

First of all, Eric has disappeared.
Go figure.
He won't respond to any messages and I haven't heard from him in a while.

Oh well..

Baby update news?
Okay.
I'm 11 weeks and 5 days. My baby is a peanut size. And I need some iron in my system so I don't die or some shit.

I'm looking forward to being a mom. Been thinking about a change in occupation though. Maybe a PTA? Something that is fast to get schooled for and can make me a decent paycheck. My baby is gonna be looking fly in school. Mkay? Mkay.

I've been craving lemons. Mmm.

I also found out that someone at work, who is supposed to be my friend, has talked a bunch of shit behind my back. And I know she has because she does it to everyone else at work too. Great person, huh?

Well.
I'm bored of this.

Court