I'm 16 Again And My Heart Isn't Broken

I almost hate to rush into saying shit before it happens or before other people know....
but damnit....
I'm falling in love.

I can't help but get anxious any time Blake is even around me. If he touches me. Texts me. Says my name. Mentions anything sexual whatsoever.

I'm hoping he feels the same too.
I mean...he's been texting me everyday. 98% of the time before I do. And the conversations last for 2 hoursish. They're always flirty. Guess that means I'm on his mind, huh? Because he never asks me for anything. And whenever we're not texting; we're actually hanging out.

I spent Christmas Eve, Christmas day and New Year's with him. I feel like he keeps making excuses to touch me too. Like we had a "secret handshake" but it was weird how long it was and how intertwining our fingers together was involved quite often. Hm.

Maybe I'm crazy?
But I really wish he'd kiss me.
And every time he says shit like, "Courtney...I'll make it up to you. Just wait," or "Courtney...I'm about to do something. Be prepared," I just wanna be like....FUCKING KISS ME ALREADY!!!

Gah!

I've never felt this way before about a guy. I'm completely myself and happy and giddy.
I can't wait to hear from him or see him.

And I keep replaying his words over and over again about how he wants a relationship and about how we're best friends and what it means whenever he tells me stuff about his personal past or what it means when he begs me for a foot rub...or what it means when he asks me if I watch porn and stuff.

Do JUST friends do this?



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This kid is gonna be the death of me.